In a sea of intense roster hype videos that have fans pumped for the Overwatch League’s inaugural season, Philadelphia Fusion made eyes violently squint shut and heads turn with agony when they released their since-deleted “This Is How We Do It In Philly” roster reveal video.
For obvious reasons – and after being chewed out by Twitter users – Philadelphia Fusion tried to obliterate this cringe-fest from existence. But that’s just not how the internet works.
If you have the stomach for it, check out the video below:
It starts with some hardcore gamer saying, “Come on, guys! We’re trying out for the Philadelphia Overwatch team,” as the Hollywood map loads in front of him. “We’re looking like a bunch of noobs out here.”
As you do.
Then some girl throws in some more video game jargon to seem relevant: “HEAD SHOT! DOUBLE KILL! TRIPLE KILL!”
And she’s doing all this with… a Mac?
And then some lovable comic relief Lucio main says: “Why’d the dancing stop? Now I’m sad.”
If you’re still with me I’m assuming slamming your fingers in the car door wasn’t enough to exhilarate your masochist tendencies anymore and you needed another way to physically harm yourself for your own pleasure.
I don’t know why else you’d put yourself through this.
After that horrifying portrayal of gamers is finally over, they have poor Carpe show up. And I won’t show his photo again out of respect, because it’s really not his fault that Philadelphia Fusion put him through this nightmare. In fact, Carpe’s broken English “This is how we do it in Philly” deserves an Oscar compared to the people at the beginning of this jarringly insulting fabrication of what playing Overwatch is like.
And here are 7 more moments in cinematic history that also feature better acting than Philadelphia Fusion’s roster reveal video.
1. Tommy Wiseau in “The Room”
“I did not hit her! It’s not true! I did not! Oh, hi Mark.”
2. This guy saying “garbage day” really dramatically
3. Nicholas Cage in “Vampire’s Kiss”
“I’m a vampire! I’m a vampire! I’m a vampire!”
4. This guy who read an acting cue from his script out loud and the director kept it in the movie
5. Vince from Slap Chop
6. This guy with a fly on his forehead
“They’re eating her. Then they’re going to eat me. Oh my goooooooOOOOoooOOOoood.”
7. This bee
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